Domestic violence and abusive behavior is not a loss of control over ones behavior. It is a conscious choice made by the abuser to control.
In an effort to aid in the fight against Domestic Violence, victim Stephanie Young has granted the Man Up Crusade permission to tell her story. Stephanie Young hopes it will move you, educate you and possibly save you and those you know from domestic violence.
"He wouldn't stop, I was bleeding, I was scared, I knew I was going to die".
Her every movement was being controlled by her abuser. She had be beaten, stabbed, burned, tortured, kidnapped, tied up and held against her will. She was too petrified with fear, from repeated violent abuse, to attempt escape.
Following is a factual summarized account of domestic violence victim Stephanie Young, who suffered long term abuse at the hands of her domestic partner. Abuse so callused and calculated that it shocked seasoned law enforcement officers, prosecutors and victim witness coordinators who heard Stephanie's story firsthand as her case was revealed and brought before the courts.
Stephanie's story began 10 years ago when she was going to school with her abusers sister and working in his parent's store. When she turned 18, she started to date the man who was to become her abuser. Stephanie became pregnant with her daughter, but her boyfriend was incarcerated on drug charges for most of her pregnancy. When he was released, he was more emotionally and mentally controlling, keeping track of everywhere Stephanie went and who she saw. The violence started sometime in 2008. The first incident sending her to the hospital.
Around December 1, 2010, her abuser started hitting her on a daily basis without reason. Just before Christmas she was punched with a closed fist causing a large bruise on her face and a black eye. Prior to that he had only hit her in areas of her body where no one could see the bruises. He also started pointing his father's loaded handguns at her. He would pull the trigger enough to make the laser light activate, and then move the laser dot over her body. Stephanie said, "He thought that was just great".
One evening, during this same time frame in 2010, Stephanie's abuser punched her in the face again knocking her off the bed. Her young daughter, on the bed with her parents, witnessed this violent act against her mother. The abuser then forced her (Stephanie) to apologize to their daughter. He made her look her daughter in the eyes and tell her "It's my fault, I did something wrong. That's why daddy did it".
Late in December 2010, Stephanie decided that she could no longer take more abuse and tried to run. At the time, the three were staying at her abusers parents' house. Stephanie ran down the stairs, grabbed her daughter and tried to run out the front door passed her abusers father was shoveling snow on the walk. She was caught just as she opened the door; he blocked her exit and slammed the door shut. Stephanie was screaming hysterically, but her boyfriend’s father ignored her screams, never entering the house. Stephanie ran to the living room, still screaming and clutching her daughter. She was caught and dragged up the stairs by the back of her hair. He tied her up using her daughter's jump rope and a scarf that she had received as a Christmas gift. After tying her feet, he connected the rope around her neck so that she could not stretch her feet out. Her abuser left her tied up in the closet.
She was eventually untied but the situation continued to escalate. Her abuser was wanted on a felony probation violation and knew authorities were looking for him. Knowing that the officers were attempting to find him and serve him with felony warrants, he forced Stephanie to hide with him in the crawl space of his parents' home. The abuser's father screwed the crawl space door shut so that nobody could get out and no one could get in (Probation Officers or Police).
Stephanie was shocked that his parents were not concerned about her obvious injuries. She was held captive in the cold, moldy, dusty, crawl space for approximately seven days, sleeping in blankets on the floor. They were allowed out for short periods, every two or three days. They were fed energy shakes, but there was nowhere to go to the bathroom, so Stephanie held her bowels and urine to the point of being seriously ill. Cameras were placed throughout the house so her abuser could see what was going on while they were hiding in the crawl space.
During this time Stephanie also suffered a severe beating. Her boyfriend first made her take her clothes off, so that she would be cold. He then used a metal pipe to beat her over the head, hitting her so many times that the blood was “gushing” from her head and she lost consciousness. She woke to him yelling, “Get up”.
Stephanie said, “He wouldn’t stop, I was bleeding, I was scared, I knew I was going to die”. After he had beaten Stephanie, her abuser wanted to sleep, but before he did he tied her by the neck to some PVC pipe and made her stand on her tip toes so if she started to fall asleep, she would choke and wake up. Stephanie was not certain how long she stood that way, but she recalls the ordeal as extremely painful. Thinking she would not make it out alive, Stephanie decided to leave evidence of what had happened to her. She took blood from her forehead and wiped it up underneath the air conditioning unit. She hoped that if her abuser or his parents cleaned up the blood in the crawl space, they would miss the blood she had wiped behind the unit and that someday it would lead investigators to the truth about her death.
On 03/02/11, the Nampa Police Department was called to St. Alphonsus Hospital in Nampa, ID. When they arrived they found Stephanie Young in a hospital bed, with deep bruising on her face, multiple puncture wounds and a fractured arm. Stephanie told the officer she and her boyfriend of seven years, had an argument. During the argument her boyfriend told her to turn around so he could break her nose, then he struck her in the face several times. He also struck her repeatedly on the right side of her head with an aerosol can.
She was also stabbed repeatedly with a chisel. The strikes landed on her right thigh, but she does not know how many times. She later told police that the last strike went deep into the muscle and she thought that it had struck the bone. Her boyfriend's said, "It just felt like butter".
Stephanie also revealed to police that her boyfriend (abuser) had lit the fumes of the aerosol can and pointed the flames at her. Though she was semi conscious she thought that she had caught fire at least twice. Stephanie is afraid of fire from experiencing two house fires as a child, making the experience all the more terrifying.
When police subsequently interviewed Stephanie’s abuser he stated that he had never hit Stephanie and he had done, "Absolutely" nothing to hurt her.
This summary is only a snapshot of the horrific torment endured by Stephanie Young. She is a survivor of the terrible cycle of Domestic Violence.
Stephanie endured horrific pain, crippling emotional trauma and debilitating humiliation. There were many moments she thought she would be killed. She had made peace with the idea of dying, but her only regret was the thought of not seeing her baby girl again. Today she is strong and grateful to have survived. She has custody of her daughter and says that life has never been better. Stephanie has her life back and wants to help others by telling her story – to reach out to those victims, or potential victims, abused by a domestic partner.
Stephanie’s abuser, Max Gorringe was charged with: Kidnapping, Mayhem, Aggravated Domestic Battery, and Aggravated Assault with a Firearm enhancement and Battery. In an effort to save Stephanie Young from further pain and suffering in a long drawn out trial, a plea agreement of attempted strangulation was reached with Gorringe's legal counsel. Gorringe was sentenced to 15 years which he is currently serving at the Idaho Department of Corrections.
Stephanie Young not only endured terrible physical pain, but constant mental anguish in fearing for her life. She endured hearing her abusers parents praise their son for his courage, saying "How hard it must have been for him to tell them how he physically abused Stephanie". The abuser’s parents witnessed her injuries, her bleeding wounds, and did nothing to help her. They could have saved her, ended her suffering, but instead they turned a blind eye. Their active involvement led to charges of felony Harboring.
This story like so many others is a testament to why we must stop the cycle of Domestic Violence in all its forms.